Ramadhan makin dekat. Denting waktu berkejar-kejaran hendak menyergapku, ya, terlambat, aku di penghujung Sya'ban. I can't lie; I'm missing this month; while realizing that next ramadhan will be so different from this one..
Yes, my last year in that 51-year aged school.
Takbir terdengar bagai alunan merdu yang kudus;suci;agung. Hanya terhenyak. I'm an imperfect angel; splashed by the sins. Not pretending to be innocent; just wanna be honest. 'cause I used to think that there's an angel inside a woman; sometimes hidden. Sins; both practical and mindset. Sometimes I lose control.
Memutar waktu? Impian klasik manusia. Fatamorgana, irrasional. Mimpi semu. Semua telah terucap, semua telah menjadi takdir; menguap bersama waktu yang pergi, tak terubah. Hanya qada dan qadar yang wajib kupercaya tentang ini. Berharap pada masa depan, karena Allah tidak akan merubah nasib suatu kaum jika mereka tak berusaha. Cry.. yeah I know, it seems too late to realize it now... But I do believe God had given me the best. Some unanswered dreams; could be bad for me, or just waiting for me somewhere. Restart my mind; It's Ramadan!
Maaf. Beranikan diri tuk meminta; ikhlaskan hati tuk memberi. Keduanya berat; kuakui; kalau tak hanya sebagai seremonial belaka. Jabat tangan, merangkul; andai kau tahu, aku perlu bertanya kepada hatiku berkali-kali setelah tradisi itu. Munafikah aku? Naudzubillah... Oh, God, everyday, I just wanna be better than the gone days... Please release that bad mindset from me...
Hati. Heart. The most complex thing than human has. Semuanya. Aku harus hilangkan semuanya. Start from beginning. Don't let every pain & revenge to take ahead. Wanna clear it.
You know what? It feels so funny; It's more similar to a poetry. Whatever......
But it means, somehow, this ramadhan will be extraordinary;important...
Feels like everything ain't gonna over....
Why must it be too late for me to realize that my real lifepath will start soon?
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